Tess's Blog (February)

FX: TYPING NOISES:

9th February. Hi Tess, the high priestess back with you again <3 <3 <3. I have just returned from a gestalt therapy weekend. The groundrules were that no-one was allowed to say anything unless it was a genuine expression of being in the moment, in authentic relationship. Between you and me I think the facilitator is not hip with the times we live in. LOL. Who pays any attention whatsoever to ‘the moment’ these days – people are too busy scheduling their FB and twitter posts between checking up on how many mentions they are getting on social media. Being in the moment is just so 20th century. So we just sat round in a circle in silence for each session and rushed to our smartphones at the breaks. So much for basing psychological principles on German loan words.

My three favourite German loan words: Zugzwang (I just had an irresistible compulsion to move this to be 1st in the list), Schadenfreude (Not that I am guilty of this of course :)  ), and Gemütlichkeit (the feeling I get when I bring up FB on my smartphone!)


FX: TYPING NOISES:

10th February. I just finished reading this truly amazing book about how to see auras demonstrating how real and useful this is – and all those scientific cynics think we just make this stuff up! All you need to is screw up your eyes and squint off to one side while almost looking at somebody. Try it for yourself, it is so cool. I started thinking to myself would Chinese people have a yellowish tinge to their aura – and then I thought am I being racist? What do you think? Being PC is such a minefield these days. Maybe I will just change my holiday plans so I can visit Beijing to SCIENTIFICALLY test my theory out. It would give me a chance to encounter a dragon too! I wonder if dragons eat pandas. Yes, of course, why didn’t I think of that before - that would explain why pandas are getting so scarce!

My three favourite colours: pink (of course), octarine, and the top fashion colour trend of the year (of course! squared!, … wouldn’t it be so cool if it was octarine!!!)


FX: TYPING NOISES:

11th February. I realised why I have been thinking of dragons so much recently. It is my subconscious preparing me for a huge trial in my life coming up next week. I am so proud of myself. This is a huge step for me. Yes I have finally plucked up the courage to do this. I am so brave. I am going to join my mmorpg clan for the raid to take on Smaug in his Lonely Mountain lair next week. Don’t you think I am soooooo brave? We are so going to kick dragon ass. It will be the highlight of Princess P’s career (that’s me!) – and I might even break through to level 30! Wow. I must remember to add this to my linked in profile.

My three favourite dragons: Gringotts’ Ukrainian Ironbelly (of course!), Norbert (aww diddums, so cute) and Dragon Naturally Speaking (I have so been breaking so many fingernails typing!)


FX: TESTING, TESTING NOISES:

12th February. After my colonic irrigation last month I thought it was about time to get started on my super healthy energy boosting NATURAL diet. I am only going to eat Açaí, members of the Allium Family, the 3Bs (Barley, Beans & Buckwheat), Lentils, Hot Peppers, Nuts and Seeds, Yogurt and anything that is Green (I so couldn’t live without my energising daily dose of Green M&Ms) – and nothing else! Only stuff that is NATURAL! Kevin my ignorant nerdy brother said I should add Strychnine to my super diet as that is NATURAL too. I think he was trying to be sarcastic. But I wiped the smile off his face – he was just dumbfounded when I said in that case I would have it for breakfast every day.

My three favourite foods: M&Ms (of course), Smash potatoes (must remember to order some more green food dye), and Strychnine (starting tomorrow)


FX: CURSING NOISES:

13rd February. Bummer. Amazon does not sell Strychnine. And speaking of Amazon, apologies for the short post today but I need to buy a new T Shirt, and I have a lot of reviews to get through before I commit to going for an Original Three Wolf Moon Adult T-Shirt

My three favourite wolves: White Fang, Sköll (reminds me of my favourite lager), and Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C. ("out of darkness cometh light" – I can be so profound at times!)


FX: TYPING NOISES:

14th February. I had so many cards today … from uncles and aunties – sigh, it is my birthday tomorrow. I had hoped that this year at least I would have one … well apart from the one I sent myself disguising my handwriting by writing upside down with my left hand. This did kind of back fire when my stupid brother asked me when I started dating someone from the second grade. Does he not know how much pressure there is to change your FB relationship status!!!

My three favourite cupids: Eros (of course), The Stupid Cupids (need I say more?), Cupids Couch (for adults only!)