Universal quotes

Shame about the Guilt Trip

By James Kyle

I called this blog "Personal Power Now" and I would hope that at least some of you, in response of what I have to offer, can significantly improve your life. I say this in relation to this post because I truly believe that if you really take in the following recording then this could become for you a personal transformational experience.

It is by Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Therapy (RET) and is 10 minutes long. I will have more to say on RET in subsequent posts.



To reinforce the above the essence of the required shift is this:

1) Guilt blocks self-awareness
2) Self awareness is needed for change
3) To facilitate self-awareness we need to learn to be self-accepting
4) Accepting self responsibility kickstarts the process by personally taking on the role of shifting our paradigm from one of guilt to that of self-acceptance
5) A key is to realise that all of us, you and me, and everyone else always do the best we can do at the time.

So just let go of the guilt, move into self acceptance, use self awareness to change, and watch your life transform. Simples.

"If I'm Perfect, No One Will Reject Me" - Healing Perfectionism

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Do you believe that being "perfect" gives you control over how people feel about you?"

If you do, then you are coming from 3 big false beliefs that are causing you much unhappiness.

FALSE BELIEF #1 

"I can have control over how people feel about me."

Think for a moment whether or not others have control over how you feel about them. Can someone do everything "right" and be "perfect" in their own eyes, yet you don't enjoy being around them or you don't feel connected with them?

Of course!

Others may influence how you feel about them, but they have no control over how you feel about them. If you are a basically accepting person, then you might like them even if they get angry or withdrawn. If you are generally a judgmental person, then there may be little they can do for you to like them.

Now turn this around regarding how others feel about you. Since you have no control over whether or not another person is accepting or judgmental, it stands to reason that you also have no control over how they feel about you, regardless of how perfectly loving, open, caring, giving, understanding, handsome, beautiful, or rich you are.

FALSE BELIEF #2 

"There is a standard of perfectionism and I can reach it."

I grew up believing that there was a "right" and "perfect" way to be. Then I learned that what I thought was right and perfect was not necessarily what others thought was right and perfect. In fact, it seemed that each person had a completely different understanding of what it means to be perfect!

This was quite distressing to me, as it took away my illusion of control over how people felt about me. At that time many years ago, I was terrified of rejection, so it gave me great comfort to believe that if only I was perfect enough, then I would never be rejected. Without a standard of perfection, what would be my guiding light to feel safe?

FALSE BELIEF #3

"I am basically flawed and need to strive to cover up my flaws and appear to be better than I am."

As long as I believed that I was basically flawed in some way, I was afraid of rejection. When I learned how to connect with my spiritual Guidance and see myself through the eyes of truth rather than through the eyes of my parents and others, I was able to see that my soul essence - my core Self - is already perfect, a perfect individualized expression of the Divine.

What was flawed were my beliefs that were programmed into me and needed to be healed.

HEALING PERFECTIONISM 

Imagine how life would be for you if you knew that you were already perfectly wonderful and incredible just the way you are in your true Self? What if you could separate out the flawed, wounded, programmed part of you - the part you created to help you survive pain - from the magnificent part of you that God created. What if you could see that your ego wounded self - with all your fears and protections and ways of trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain - is NOT who you are.

Then, instead of perfectionism being your guiding light, being fully and passionately yourself becomes your guiding light!

I assure you, this is a MUCH easier way to live!




About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding process - featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? 

Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website athttp://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Smart Tech

by James Kyle

I came across this article on wearable tech and it made me think about how technology is rapidly changing the way we lead our lives. Some think not all for the better as per the youtube clip below. (With my thanks to Liz Krane on Google+ for sharing this)




However I know personally that there are many ways that I have found to make good use of the new technology. I still remember being amazed - just over a dozen years ago - to see someone walking round a corner of a Dublin street apparently talking to themselves. They were of course using a combination of blue tooth and the newly emerging power of the mobile phone to talk to someone as they were walking about town. Nowadays you find it hard to recall just how did you manage to meet up with someone without the last minute texts and calls to adjust the timing or to confirm that yes, you are there, but at the other tube exit.

I was recently astounded to find that the technology has matured to the extent that I can SAY to my phone "translate to Spanish, I want a glass of wine please" and the phone will dutifully translate this phrase and say out loud the Spanish equivalent. Google translate and the like are transforming our ability to reach out and communicate with others around the world. Google+ too is bringing us more into a shared world with people with different cultures and interests around the world. And when it comes to texting, with software like swiftkey flow, it is now possible to write whole phrases without lifting a finger. Wonderful! - even I can now text without re-educating my thumbs to a whole new way of interacting with my world.

As I go to bed, using a combination of Sleep Now! Utter! and Tasker, I tell my phone how long to wait before the calming sound of waves lapping a beach kicks in to soothe me to sleep just after Sleep Now! plays a clip of a downloaded BBCi mp3, picking up from where it left off the night before.

And I can go to sleep with a clear mind as I know that my shopping list is up to date on Out of Milk so the items I need to recall tomorrow are already accounted for. To do what you need to do, know what you need to do. In this context, many of you many have heard of David Allen's GTD. I actually met David in LA just before I went to the University of Santa Monica. He is an inspiring speaker and central to his message of leading a more effective life is focusing on the right things at the right time and the importance of organisational tools to assist you with this. And if you do get stressed, you could always take time to have a look at the Stress Management Techniques in the Mind Tools app!

And for those that like lists: The 64 Best Health and Fitness Apps of 2013 (With my thanks to Steve Davis on Google+ for sharing this one).

And finally of course don't forget the fun that apps can bring into your life. And what about exploring beyond the universe of astral enraged feathered creatures. For example, what do you get when you combine a fun app with exercise and our zany pre-occuaption with undead coming back to devour us - Zombies, Run! of course. Now that is transformational technology - going to the gym suddenly becomes fun!

So, what about you? How has technology changed your life?